Akshara’s tips on how to adjust to marriage

I HAVE always been of the opinion that one should make the most of life. I was raised to be a good daughter and a good Bahu. I was taught to respect my elders, and be very dutiful and courteous.

That is why I took my arranged marriage in my stride. Like most girls in India, I have been raised and accustomed to expect an arranged marriage. What makes my experience different, I believe is that, never in my most fervent dreams did I expect to get a husband as wonderful as Naitik. Never once did I expect to fall in love with the person I married so wholeheartedly and completely. I cannot thank God enough for all that He has given me so far!

Of late, though, I have been thinking of developing a more meaningful relationship with my fans. I have been thinking of all the girls who will probably go through an arranged marriage, unsure, uncertain and nervous of what the future holds for them.

What better way, I thought, than to use our online platform, STAR Plus.in, to connect with you, dear readers!

This is the first of an ongoing relationship with you, where I share whatever I have learnt, to guide young girls to realise their dreams and fulfill their potential. The correct behaviour, correct posture. Adjusting to new situations. Health and other concerns.

This is the platform through which I hope I can have a long and successful connect with you! So here goes, from Me To You!

What I have learnt
It is always difficult to adjust to a completely new and different environment for a girl after her marriage. It feels as though you have been dug out from the soil that has nurtured you all this while to get planted in new ground. It was the same for me, when I transformed from a Beti to a Bahu.

I left the comfortable, familiar surroundings of my house, the secure, loving world nurtured over the years by my parents, to embark on a new journey with a complete stranger, Naitik.

When I married him, I was completely clueless about how to cope with the new environment. I was so fearful about impressing my in-laws and gaining their acceptance, so that I could secure a place in their hearts.

I have missed my family terribly. There have been times when I wanted to simply leave everything behind and go back to them. One person stopped me. Naitik. He was the one who made me feel comfortable and loved every day of my new life.

So this is what I did.

Be patient
I familiarised myself with the new surroundings gradually. I didn’t let my eagerness to win over people’s hearts come in the way of forging a lasting bond. Slowly but patiently, I tried to understand the people in my new family. Their likes. Their dislikes. Their hobbies. Their daily habits. Over time, I came to know and love them as my own.

Naitik’s parents became my parents. His sisters became my siblings. Through Nandini and Rashmi, I found the sisters I never had and loved. They now look up to me for advise, and it gives me immense pleasure when I am able to put a smile on their faces.

Have an open mind
Today, my husband and I love each other dearly. And can I tell you a secret? I think the mantra to my successful marriage is that I have accepted my husband’s family with open arms and with an open mind!

Every new bride like me must make the effort to treat her husband’s family as her own.

Initially, it will be difficult. I know. I have been through it. Who knows better than me, that replacing your own loving parents with someone else is unthinkable! But look at it this way. They are your husband’s parents. They love him and look up to him with blind adoration and hope. They have showered the best of attention and care into raising him. To them goes the credit of shaping him into the person you married.

Would you not respect them for it? Would you not love them because they raised the person you love? Now, does that make it easier for you?

Give your new family a chance!
So just give your new family a chance. Frankly, all I did was to give them the chance to know that I was ready to be a part of their family. And there has been no looking back for all of us!

I have to go now. My little Nandini will soon become a bride, and I have to help her! Please pray for her, dear readers. Please pray that she gets a family as wonderful as mine!

If you have any questions, suggestions or advice, please e-mail me at YRKKHblog@gmail.com. Help me get to know you better by leaving your name, age and city where you reside in. I would love to hear from you!